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Canadian Military Kids in April

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April is the month of the Military Child.

I mean, there’s a month for everything, right?  So why not one for them?

It’s
actually not even a thing in Canada as far as I know, but we’re going
to go ahead and steal it from the USofA for the purpose of this blog
post.  I don’t think they will mind, the Americans I know are actually
much nicer than we tend to give them credit for.

Let me start off by saying that kids in any circumstance, are special.
Farmer’s kids are amazingly resiliant at sleeping in combine’s come harvest time.
First Responder’s kids spend nights worrying about dad every time they hear a siren.
Pastor’s kids get dragged to every single church potluck and hugged by strangers.
And
kids who’s parent’s work in banks, in fertilizer plants, in prisons and
in offices, they have all learned very special ways to adapt to their
own life.

But I have Military Kids.
So that’s what this is about.

When April comes around, I see quite a few posts going around the Social Media World.
And they started like this:

‘Your average military brat…..’.

And I think…
Is there an average military child?

Some kids, like my husband, will move 5 or 6 times in their life.
Accross
the country and across the world, they will watch the trucks pack up
their life and they will make new friends and learn what TV shows are
cool in which crowds.  They will adapt to different playgrounds and
different teachers.  Sometimes they will even adapt to a different
language.

And other military kids, they will only move once.  Or not at all.

Some military kids will say ‘See You Later’ and watch dad’s ship sail out of sight.
Some will say goodbye in a cramped room and watch the bus pull away.
Some will say goodbye while dad heads to war.
Some will say goodbye when mom heads on training exercise.
Some will say goodbye while both parents go on a peacekeeping mission.

Some will hardly say goodbye at all.

Some will say goodbye and they won’t see mom or dad again until they come home covered in a flag.


There are military kids in this Country who have lost one parent in
the War in Afghanistan and have then years later said ‘See You Later’ to
a step-parent headed to fight that same war.

There are Navy kids who have spent more time with their parent on Skype than in person.
There are Air Force Kids who never know when their parent might have to leave.
There are Special Forces kids who don’t even get to know where their parent is.

And
there are many, many military kids who were brought into this world
already missing their dad who didn’t make it quite in time.
Or maybe was still months away from coming home.

I’ve met lots and lots of military kids.

Ones that have been to a different school every year since they started Kindergarten.

Ones that collect license plates to remind them of the different provinces they’ve lived in.

Ones
that are so young and have been missing dad for so long, they call him
‘flat dad’ because they only see him on the computer screen.

Ones that have grown up so immersed in the miltary culture that it seemed like a second nature to enlist themselves.
I married that one.

I am amazed by each and every one I meet, but I can’t tell their story.

All I know about for sure are my own kids.

My oldest was born days after his dad came home from Afghanistan the first time.
He’s said goodbye to him for that war twice more since then.

My
daughter can’t remember a birthday her dad has celebrated with her, but
she can remember the time he called from the field and had his whole
troop sing her happy birthday.

My youngest said goodbye to his dad for the first time when he went back to Afghanistan when he was 10 days old.

My
kids have learned that sometimes the phone can’t ring on their birthday
or their special day, but when it does, Dad will remember what he
missed.

They have learned holidays can be celebrated anytime, not just on the days on the calender.

They have learned that true friendships transcend provinces.  And countries.  And time apart.

They have packed up and moved across the country leaving behind the friends and the community they grew up in.
And they made  new friends.
And they adapted.
Because that’s what they do.
But it doesn’t make it suck any less.
And it doesn’t make it stop hurting.

And
some years ago there were days they would run up and hug the random
soldier in uniform at the bank because they were too young to realize it
was not their daddy.

And these nights they are just
tired of trying to make new friends and they fall asleep crying and
holding a picture of their old friends.
Because mom, starting over is just. so. tiring.

All of our Military Kids have things in common and bonds they share.
But I don’t believe we can have posts talking about the average military kid.

There’s no such thing.

What
there are is amazing little people with all different experiences and
challenges and victories who have learned more than most about what is
truly important in this world and how to make the best of those things,
wherever you are and whenever you can be together.

So this April, I hope that we remember that sometimes, it’s lonely, even for a tough military kid.


And we make sure that each and every one knows they are never really alone.

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reccewife

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6 COMMENTS

  1. Tammy | 3rd Apr 14

    What a great explanation of the lives of military kids! Having 6 of my own I can attest that they truly are a resilient and hardy bunch! Thank you for honouring them (and their individuality) in such a loving way.

  2. Angie | 3rd Apr 14

    They are so resilient and tough. My oldest is only 3, but has lived in 5 different houses with 4 moves. My 15 month old had lived in 3 different houses by the time she was 8 months old. Each move is hard because the older one has said goodbye to friends. Soon she will have to say goodbye to her dad as he leaves for a deployment. I feel bad that my girls will miss out on traditional family gatherings or holidays since we don't live near family.

  3. Karen | 3rd Apr 14

    I love this. And the video. It captures everything about being a military child. Thank you for posting this.

  4. Anonymous | 3rd Apr 14

    you nailed it right on the head , I remember my son being so fearful on the first day of school in Grade 4, when I asked him why he said "every year it's a new school and I wouldn't know where the bathroom is" . He continued with that fear until junior high school when finally he was able to go to school with the same friends until Grade 11. His final year of high school was a hard one , we got posted and he finished his Grade 12 in a new province and didn't know anyone in his graduation class

  5. Aceman67 | 4th Apr 14

    I have the honor and privilege of being a Military Child. My mother married the man I would call my dad when I was six. She was a Cook at CFB Lancaster Park (now called CFB Edmonton) and met my dad in the mess Line. She married him 3 months later.

    I said goodbye the first time when he was deployed to Yugoslavia for the peacekeeping mission there in the early 90s.

    I was fortunate to have him home for my 7th birthday, but had to say goodbye again when he was redeployed just 5 days later.

    And adapting to life in the Schools on base was hard. You don't just take a city kid who went to public school and expect them to fit in with the rest of the Army brats, the culture is just too different, the clique's too exclusive. My brothers especially had it hard, being teenagers at the time.

    We were posted to CFB Kingston a year later, so here we were, adapting to new places, new school, making new friends, only to be uprooted a year later and shipped out to Nova Scotia.

    Spent 6 months at CFB Dartmouth, 4 years in Lower Sackville, one year in CFS Hubbards, and another year in Mahone Bay. Adapting and changing schools each time.

    Then we were posted again to Winnipeg, where I finished high school and moved out. I had considered myself lucky that my dad hadn't been deployed overseas, but that all came crashing to a halt one september morning when while on the bus to school listening to the radio when the DJ interrupted Enter Sandman to report a plane crash in New York. I was 16 at the time and I wasn't naive. I kept to myself for the rest of the day trying not to get angry at the "civi-kids" all calling for war. I just wanted to say "It won't be your dad going over there" and other choice expletives. I remember skipping the rest of the days classes and sitting on the front field of Grant Park High School watching plane after plane fly over head.

    My father was injured during training to go overseas to Afghanistan and was never deployed due to the lasting effects of the injury. While relieved that he never had to go over there, I still feel a quiet guilt for feeling that relief while so many other Dads and Moms went over and never came home.

    My father retired from the military in 2004.

    Anyways, thats my point of view, being part of the family of thousands.

  6. Kacy Stu | 4th Apr 14

    Things could always be worst. But I shed a few tears reading this. I have been in those situations where I will be grocery shopping with the girls while my husband is away and our girls would yell " Daddy!!" to every Man they saw in a uniform. Then they get upset when they see it isn't him and confused because they can not understand why they are wearing Daddy's clothes. One time in a grocery line up there was a man who was in his uniform and shared the same build as my husband. Jordyn kept asking him to pick her up " up Daddy, up!" He looked at her and smiled and you could tell he felt so bad for her that he wanted to pick her up but also did not want to confuse her. Putting my babies to bed each night with a picture of Daddy that they would kiss and dance with all day long was hard and heartbreaking. I kept reminding myself that things could be worse…Daddy will be coming home, we still have him in our lives, even if we are often miles apart.

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