Today I went to a kid’s Remembrance Day service the day before the stat holiday tomorrow here in Alberta. Dh came, in uniform. This is something he does the odd year he’s in town because it makes my kids unbelievably happy and he’s a good dad. Even though he looks about as comfortable as a very polite bull in a very loud china shop. And they did all the things we do at Remembrance Services. They read “In Flanders Fields.” They sang a song. We sang O Canada listened to the Last Post and we had a moment of silence. Then the kids laid wreaths. And during it all, it was loud. The school goes from preschool age all the way to grade 8. The young kids are just that; young. They whispered until the whispers grew louder. They fidgeted. They fussed. And teachers, they tried diligently to teach them to stop. To make them be quiet and respectful. It only sometimes worked. I remembered then those days when I had very small ones. And I would stand, on my own usually, in the back of a crowded gym on Remembrance Day at 11am. And I’d bounce and I’d feed and I’d beg and I’d do literally everything physically possible to keep my babies quiet. I usually failed. One time I got up with a fussing baby, and I went to leave, not wanting his muted wailing to interrupt the ceremony. Just outside the door an older Veteran grabbed my arm and he said ‘let him cry. We’re still glad you’re here.’ And then, with Dh a world away,I cried too. Today my youngest son and…
The following is a loose transcript of the 2nd half of my key note speech at this year’s Military Family Services conference. I’m so grateful for the opportunity I had to share at the conference and hope that it was even a little successful in what I set out to do, which was only share a story in the hopes it would get people thinking. I’m just one family and have only my own voice. Thanks so much for letting it be heard. After sharing my story, I think it’s important that we first understand that I am coming from just one family. We are not special; there are thousands just like us out there. But we all come from slightly different perspectives. The Canadian Forces has many different trades, jobs and postings that will all lend itself to very different experiences. Each military unit has its own unique culture. And each family within it, their own story. Blended families. Dual services families. Same sex partnerships, families with or without children. We can run the gamut of religious, political and social diversity. Looking at us all, what then is our goal? Are we looking for temporary fixes or long term resiliency? Are we giving tools or band aids? If we are, in fact, trying to teach families resiliency, how do we do that? Well, I can say that in our story, I know what didn’t work. There were times that I received more services than others. One deployment, I even received help from the Regiment by the way of a driver to take me to appointments that I was unable to drive to for medical reasons. Which was amazing, and needed at the time as we were new and I…
This blog series is called Why Can’t We All Just Get Along What that means, is that sometimes we tend to turn life into a big loser contest, where we figure we have it harder than everyone else. Especially on Military forums and support groups. We judge the experiences of different branches, different bases, different families, and we argue over who has it worse. Let’s not anymore, okay? So in this series, I have some amazing guest bloggers who have written me what it’s like to walk a mile in their shoes. The good and the bad. Because all our struggles and victories may be different, but that doesn’t make them any less valid. And for my readers who are not military, it’s a chance to see how unique each military family is and what their day to day life is like! Before each blogger, I am going to take a moment to answer a question from you guys about what it’s like to be a Canadian military spouse. And the best part is, commenting and asking a question enters you into a draw for Canadian Maple Syrup candies! When the series is all done, I will use random.org to pick one of our question-askers as the winner of the candies :). A Canadian Contest So today’s question comes from Lauren Cecora (Lauren, please message me your email so I can contact you if you win), she asked How different are the uniforms? Not a whole lot, I don’t think. Most soldiers (and some sailors and airman day to day) wear Cadpat. That’s the name of the Canadian Disruptive Pattern…
My husband grew up a military brat in the PMQ’s all over Canada. From Calgary to Kingston to Bordon to Petawawa and then Germany before landing back in Calgary where his dad retired, he saw a lot of army life. And he saw a lot of army wives. So when we married, he had an image in his head. Either we lived off base and pretended that he had ‘just another job’ and I never involved myself in any way with military life, or I became one of ‘those wives’. And apparently, ‘those’ wives sit their front porch of their PMQ gossiping and smoking, wearing their hubby’s PT gear and yelling in a raspy voice to their 6 kids that they let run around dirty in the neighborhood before drinking the night away with other men while their husbands are away. In dh’s eyes, there was no middle ground between those two extremes. It’s funny, my mother in law was nothing like this, and we know plenty of really fabulous military wives, but he just didn’t shake this one misconception. So after a year of living in the PMQ’s (base housing), we moved as quick as we could afford it to a town off base. He had his life at work and very rarely did we make any effort to be a part of that life as a family. Slowly, all that has changed. I realized this once when we were laying together on the couch talking after he had got home from work. He had taken off his uniform and thrown some jeans on, but he had left on the green t-shirt from work. And…
