Why Can`t We All Just Get Along – Guest Post by Carpe Diem Crystal!

 This blog series is called

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along

What
that means, is that sometimes we tend to turn life into a big loser
contest, where we figure we have it harder than everyone else. 
Especially on Military forums and support groups.  We judge the
experiences of different branches, different bases, different families,
and we argue over who has it worse.

Let’s not anymore, okay?

So
in this series, I have some amazing guest bloggers who have written me
what it’s like to walk a mile in their shoes.  The good and the bad. 
Because all our struggles and victories may be different, but that
doesn’t make them any less valid.

And for my readers who are not military, it’s a chance to see how unique each military family is and what their day to day life is like!  

Before
each blogger, I am going to take a moment to answer a question from you
guys about what it’s like to be a Canadian military spouse.  And the
best part is, commenting and asking a question enters you into a draw
for Canadian Maple Syrup candies! When the series is all done, I will
use random.org to pick one of our question-askers as the winner of the candies :).

A Canadian Contest

  Today’s question comes from Sarah, and I love it! (And I totally do.  All the time 🙂

When we were at Fort Drum
and lived on the St. Lawrence River across from Canada, I spent a good
amount of my day staring over the water and wondering what was going on
over there. Do the people on the Canada side do the same at the
Americans??
Just kidding. That wasn’t my real question. 😉
My real question is do you have/what are your FRG’s like?

So – first of all let me say our current posting is like 1.5 hours from Fort Drum!  I know Sarah has since PCS’d, but if there are any other military spouses posted there – let me know!  This is the first time I can drive into the States so easily, and  I pass Fort Drum on the way to the mall! 🙂

As for the question:

We don’t have FRG’s.

Short answer, right? 

What we do have is a civilian run agency called the Military Family Resource Center, or MFRC, at every large base.  They have a staff and run on funding and donations, and offer things like emergency childcare, deployment support and activities, etc.  Whether or not they are useful, well, military spouses feel the same way here that I have seen American spouses feel about the FRG.  Some have had great experiences and love it, some feel that it’s not what they need.

My DH’s Regiment has a Family Support Troop that does it’s best to keep track of the families of deployed soldiers, as well as those away for any length of time on Exercise or Training.  They will make phone calls to those who request it to check in, and run occasional activities as well as pass down information about activities, events and programs available to the families.  In the past couple years, even more emphasis has been placed by the Command of the unit on making sure families feel connected and are taken care of.  It was with this group that I was given the opportunity to volunteer as a liason between families and the Chain of Command  before we moved.  This kind of Unit-Centered Family Support is rare, I have been blessed that DH is a part of the Regiment he is.

DH’s unit is also the only one in Canada I have ever heard of that has a Ladies Group for spouses.  The group holds monthly activities for all spouses, regardless is hubby is home or not.  While it is generally the Commanding Officer’s Secretary (who also happens to herself be a wife of one of the unit’s soldier’s) and the Commanding Officer’s Wife who put the activities together, recent years have had a committee of ladies who’s husbands represent all ranks and ages who help plan and organize events.  We have a private facebook group for asking questions and sharing ideas, babysitters and stories, and mostly just have a blast hanging out once a month at events like Private Shoe Shopping, Dinner at Japanese Village, Private Poker Lesson Parties and other great evenings.  I miss these ladies now that we are posted away from the Regiment!

But as for a Spouse run Family Readiness Group – that’s just not a thing here.  Though I admit, while I was helping out with the Family Support at Dh’s Unit last year, I may have swiped a couple of the FRG handbooks off the web so we could learn a thing or two!

Do you have a question about life as a Canadian Military Spouse? Check out the facebook
page (I know it’s called Worth Missing while I await my blog
transformation by Utterly Chaotic, but it’s me, I promise) and then
leave a comment here with a question (and don’t forget an email address
so I can contact you)!

______________________________________________________________________________

 So today we get to hear from Crystal over at Carpe Diem Crystal!  She’s sharing a look into her life as an American Coast Guard Family! (Which as I mentioned last week in an answer to a question, is new to me since the Canadian Coast Guard is actually not part of the Military.  In the USA, it most definitely is!)

Hola! I’m Crystal from Carpe Diem Crystal. I’m a bit nervous about being the face of the Coast Guard spouse as I rarely even write about my experiences on my own blog. However, I really wanted all the branches represented so I will do my very best.

In 2006 my brother Ross enlisted in the U.S. Army. Less than a year later my brother Cody enlisted in the U.S. Navy. Five months after that, and after almost 5 years of marriage, my husband Joe decided to enlist in the U.S. Coast Guard. (my poor parents…) He had trained and received a degree in fire science, been a firefighter for a while, but we both needed a change. My brothers gave him insight into their experiences thus far and we both began researching the Coast Guard. It seemed like it was the absolute perfect adventure for us to embark upon. So in October 2007 he enlisted.

For 2 years we were a part of the ‘boat world’ of the Coast Guard and we loved it. He was stationed at a small boat station in a tiny town in North Carolina.  The benefit of that was that our home was amazing and we didn’t have to fight for it against numerous other military families that were also PCS’ing. There were only 40 or so people at the station and no other nearby bases. This also meant that the nearest commissary was 2.5 hours away. (Uh, no thanks) Plus the nearest Coast Guard Exchange to buy uniform items and such was at least 4-5 hours away. (We became good at ordering items online.)

While stationed there his schedule was typically 48 hours on, 48 hours off, with rotating weekends (72 hours on). It was very similar to his firefighter schedule so it was easy for us to slide right into it. The station was so small that everyone knew one another and their families. We all were friends. We still think of most of them as family and visit/get visited by them. It was really close knit and I feel as if we became extremely spoiled by the community that existed there.

Since then Joe went to A-School to work in the ‘air world’.  He’s currently an Aviation Electronics Technician on MH-60T’s. We’re at an air station in New England and the area could not be nicer. (A great thing about the Coast Guard is that the chance of getting stationed somewhere beautiful—is HUGE.) The air station is so large and there are so many other land units nearby that there are hundreds of Coastie’s around here. Personally I miss that sense of community that a smaller unit creates.  However, it’s nice to have all the extra support that a larger station provides. 

Now Joe works Monday-Friday with overnight duty 2-3 times a week, including weekends when the schedule calls for it. This is generally about one weekend duty a month, sometimes more.

The Coast Guard is the only branch of the military that is listed under the Department of Homeland Security. All the others are under the Department of Defense.  Therefore the CG’s budget is a wee bit more restricted than the other branches and we are not entitled to many of the programs that are under the DOD. So far I have paid out of pocket for 100% of my college tuition. Whereas many of my friends that are connected to the DOD –have received a lot of funding.  

I can’t complain though. I see how my brothers have been deployed/underway for months and years at a time. I see the toll it has taken on their families. There are Coasties that get 1 year deployments to Bahrain. And the cuttermen in the CG are often deployed for 3-9 months at a time. It can be more or less, depending on the boat. Even the ‘air world’ guys have deployments. We just happen to be stationed here where brief deployments are few and far between.

The one thing that saddens me is when people say the Coast Guard is not military. My husband is paid off the same pay chart as all the other branches. He signed a contract and swore in at MEPS alongside all the other branches. I sit at home and worry about him while he’s out flying. I celebrate holidays/milestones alone often. I sigh when his phone goes off on a day off. Yes, I am beyond thankful that he doesn’t have to go overseas. I don’t take that for granted. I’ve sent many care packages to my brothers. I am constantly amazed by the strength both my sister-in-laws display. They are both an inspiration to me.  

Please always remember though that there are five branches to the U.S. military. The Coast Guard is small but mighty.   

I have a huge amount of respect for all military families. I hope this gives you a tiny glimpse into the Coast Guard and our lives within it. I’ll be happy to answer any questions that you may have. 

__________________________________________________________

So that`s Crystal, and life as a `Coastie`s wife!`  If you have any questions, you can find her on Twitter.  Also – Don`t forget to check out her blog at Carpe Diem Crystal


And most importantly, leave her a comment and let her know that we have not forgotten about wonderful Coast Guard Families!

Comments

comments

Related posts:

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along – Guest Post by the Young Retiree! Why Can’t We All Just Get Along – Guest Post by The New Normal! Guest Post: How The Military Assisted in Love Guest Post from Citrus Sunshine – Why I Love Canada