Sometimes I have things to say.

Okay, most of the time I do. Rarely is it useful.

Most of the time, though, you all say it better than I do.

This week we asked for the best advice you could give a new military spouse in two sentences. Boy, did you ever come through, with more than 200 comments! I decided then, so it wouldn’t get lost in the realms of facebook, that I’d put some of your amazing advice to good use.

Whether you are brand new spouse or you’re just looking for something to make a crappy day easier, here’s the best your military family had to offer.

Disclaimer: some of these are gender specific. That’s because some of the people who wrote them did so of their own experience. All of it is relevant no matter the gender of the member or the spouse.

It’s funny how almost all the advice had the same basic idea. It’s almost like we’ve all learned something….

Be present

Plant your garden every spring, on the chance you get to see it through! ~Debbie

Bloom where you are planted! ~ Jessica

Sink in roots even if you don’t know how long you’ll be somewhere; you need a good community. ~ Jenn

Live your life right now with a slight eye on the future. Thinking too much about the next posting, or course, or deployment only creates missed opportunities to grow where you are. ~ Jennifer

Build a foundation of support upon arrival to your destination. ~ Lisa

Your get what you give from your community, so participate. ~ Kristin

Show up. Show up to the mess, mess dinners, functions, goodbyes, airport coming home. ~ Colleen

Make up your own mind about the people you meet and places you’ll be posted. ~ Donna

Enjoy the adventure that each posting brings. ~Dawn

Push yourself to make new friends and new supports, even if it is terrifying! ~ Candyce

Get involved -in anything/everything- as soon as you move to a new place. Don’t wait for others to come to you, or you will miss out on a lot! ~ Koby

Build a foundation of support upon arrival to your destination. ~ Lisa

All you can count on is change

Be flexible when you need to be but stick to your guns when it’s critically important. ~ Beth

When you’re in a situation you don’t like, just remember it’s only temporary. When you’re in a situation that you do like, just remember that it’s only temporary. ~ Ellen

Don’t sweat the small stuff . Just try to roll with it, things always work out!!! (but that doesn’t mean you can(‘t) bitch about it) ~Angela

Relax, the only constant is change, adapt as needed to these changes. ~ Paul

Nothing is for certain until it’s actually happened and even then…. lol ~Maigan

Always have a plan, a back up plan and another plan for when plans don’t (ever) go as planned ~ Anna

Learn to go with the flow because things will always be changing and avoid rumours, wait for official statements. ~ Michelle

Hold your plans loosely. ~ Jenn

Nothing is set in stone, be adaptable to change. ~ Jackie

It’s all temporary when you look at the big picture. Every thing can change at the drop of a hat. ~ Kendra

Go with the flow (things change in a heart beat….or 2 or 3) ~Lauren

Be prepared to change your plans. ~ Amanda

Expect the unexpected. (Nothing is ever set in stone). ~ Mandy
Learn to embrace change as an adventure – it will be as enjoyable as you make it. ~ Koby

Enjoy the journey. Next, month, year (s) it will be past so focus on the positives and forget the negatives ~ Lisa

Relax. Just roll with it. ~ Kate
Go with the flow. ~Serena
Don’t freak out. ~Chantelle

Be flexible. Enjoy the adventure. ~ Ashley & Lindsay

Plan your calendar in pencil. ~ Tami

Expect the unexpected. ~Laura

Use pencil for your address book. ~ JoLynn

Make plans in sand not stone. ~ Wendy

Always have a backup plan. Then have a backup, backup plan. ~ Bonita

Always have backup plans…MANY of them for everything lol and don’t get upset when they get messed up by the CF. ~ Amy

Find yourself and go easy on him/her

Make a life for yourself, because scheduling everything around your partner will leave you frustrated, angry, and often disappointed. It will also make the absences fly! ~Ariel

You are important. You are not alone. ~ Beth

Make sure you have a life that doesn’t revolve around your spouse. ~ Lori-Lee

Self care! ~ Julie

Be independent enough to do everything by yourself. ~ Ani

Self care is important. ~ Katherine

Know who you are individually and be ok with reinventing yourself (multiple times if need be!) ~ Kendra

Be prepared to be very independent. ~ Monika

Be kind to yourself. ~ Jaime

Be independant and able to stand on your own 2 feet. ~ Teresa

Cry, yell, laugh, be whatever your emotion is. It’s hard but it’s rewarding, it’s frustrating but honourable and it’s okay to feel all of that at once. ~ Kayla

It’s hard some days but when you conquer those days, ( which you will every time) you feel like you can do the impossible!! ~ Tanya

Don’t forget about you. ~ Melissa

Learn to enjoy the alone time, sleep in the middle of the bed, make plans and fill your calendar. Go easy on yourself, sometimes dinner can be cereal, the laundry can wait, you don’t have to be strong and driven every day. ~ Rosa

Never lose yourself in the process. ~ Maryse

Find your tribe

Find your community. ~ Amanda

Get involved -in anything/everything- as soon as you move to a new place. Don’t wait for others to come to you, or you will miss out on a lot! ~ Koby

Hang onto your friends ..they become your family. ~ Joanne

Welcome to your new family. ~ Margaret

Get involved within the military community. They will become your greatest asset. ~ Paula

Get to know your neighbors. ~ Kristi

You are not the first or only person that feels the way you do right now. ~ Tara

Build your tribe. Near and far. ~ Chan

Embrace the community; we’re all in this together and there are so many wise, experienced people willing to bend over backwards to help. ~ Christine

Build your squad, take advantage of every opportunity available to you. ~Kristen

The people you meet as military spouses are your new family remember that and be kind you are all in the same boat. ~ Kathrine

Build your community EVERY TIME! ~ Shelley

Don’t isolate yourself. ~ Katherine R.

It’s so hard to put yourself out there as an adult, but in this style of life, it is necessary to stay sane. ~ Victoria

You can only succeed with a village. ~ Anna

Overcome any shyness and reach out to your new community because the relationships you make will see you through the tough times. ~ Paul

Cherish all of the amazing people you meet along the way! ~ Hilary

No one needs to be a superhero

1) Don’t be afraid to ask for help. 2) Ask for help. ~Julie-Ann

It’s okay to not be okay, but be open about it. ~ Hannah

What will be, will be, don’t try to control it, and make the most of it! ~Sheena

Make sure to set up a support system no matter where you go. ~ Chasity

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or accept it. ~ Erin

Ask for help, and offer it. ~ Karen

Get to know your MFRC, they can be your best friend when you didn’t know you needed one. ~ Joanne

Use your resources and never be afraid to ask for help. ~ Lisa

Ask for help when you need, provide help to others without asking. ~ Lisa

Use your supports, family, friends, military resource centres . Lean on your community. ~ Kayla

Your relationship is priority one

Invest in your spouse and family. ~Marie-Eve

Never forget who you married, no matter what the Military may put him/her through. Stand by his/her side always, they will need you in their corner. ~Joanne

Sometimes you will feel like you are always second, but that doesn’t change love. ~ Christy

Be fiercely loyal. ~ Sandi L.

Be patient with your soldier. ~ Jen & Andy

Hold fast. ~ Kate

Always trust in what your spouse has told you. ~Tracey

Never end a day with an argument. ~ Myrna

Open communication so you don’t build resentment. Don’t bottle up your emotions, share how you’re feeling with them when it’s appropriate. ~ Dani

Make sure they know you love them even if you are fighting. ~ Tina
Do what is best for your family. ~ Vanessa V.P.

Don’t be angry/mad at him because of what the jobs asks of him. ~ Lisa

Don’t fault your spouse for their employer’s choices. ~ Debbie

Be his/her rock. ~ Teresa

Always be open with your spouse and communication is key. ~ Keshia

Be his soft place to fall. ~ Joan

Love your spouse while they’re present and don’t blame them when they’re not. ~ Jackie

Send card, texts, letters etc. Stay in touch even if it’s just a joke or the weather. ~ Colleen

See the good

It’s not always going to be difficult- it can and will be awesome! ~ Stacey

Enjoy the journey. Next, month, year (s) it will be past so focus on the positives and forget the negatives. ~ Lisa

Find something good or unique about each place. Even the worst of postings has a cute little restaurant or yummy bakery or art gallery or beach or most blue sky days in winter. Etc. ~ Colleen

What will be, will be, don’t try to control it, and make the most of it! ~ Sheena

Embrace the lifestyle. ~ Hilary

Enjoy the adventure. ~ Lindsay B. & Ashley

Embrace the crazy. ~ Kendra

It’s going to be crazy but…just sit back and enjoy the ride!! ~ Joanne

Nothing will be quite like you think. Hang on and enjoy the ride! ~ Rheanna

And finally…

Buy booze ~ Angel

Don’t believe a posting until you clear out. ~ Maegan

Remember: you’ve got this! ~ Nicole

You’re stronger than you ever dreamed you are, and you’ve got this! ~ Vanessa

You’re never too cool for OPSEC. ~ Ashley

Let them do all the ironing. ~ Tara

Learn to like vodka. ~ Tanya

Don’t buy nice furniture until retirement. ~ Megan

You will always have a box of curtains that never fit into the new house. ~Lori

Ack – means acknowledge. Recce- means we are going to go check it out. Niner domestic- means wife… ohh and my fave. Tracking- I am following what is going on. ~ Nicole

Don’t believe your husband when he says he’ll be off in time for supper. ~ Beth Ann

Your clothes magically become new every posting as no one has seen them yet! ~ Tonya

…At the end of the day, the hard parts are worth enduring for that pride, the community, and (hopefully) the community of military friends who become like family. ~ Erika

Never wash cadpat with delicates. ~ Lisa

2 Sentences isn’t nearly enough! Come on over for tea/coffee (or wine) and let’s see long we can make those sentences. ~ Lisa

Comment and let us know, what advice would YOU add?

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